gosh dont know why recently ive been like eating weirdly.my 3 meals are so not 3 meals.i hardly eat dinner sometimes.and like today and last friday i ate double lunch.friday i had noodles and udon.today i had noodles then went to sakae to eat agn.like zomgosh.it's like mini binging.am i gonna get FAT?i so dont wanna get fat.im fine with moi current size.eh then again maybe not.my bottoms keeps slipping off.i kinda lost 4kg.and my pelvic bones stick out such that it hurts when i sleep on my side cos it rubs against e mattress.oh wait,im not ana.jst plain skinny.

been in a rough mood lately.it swings.i feel all messed up.the way im renoing moi room,i wish i too cld do that to myself.shopping used to be a cure.but i realise that it's like sucha waste of money and time.i wander aimlessly like a fool.and i buy useless things jst for the sake of spending to cheer myself up.unless one has a swiss bank account,that is when retail therapy really works.cos aft spending,the guilt comes.plus,time is really really wasted.so ive decided to visit the toshokan.it's so must better.i did that today :) time slipped by equally fast.but that was cos it was sth i liked.time flies when u're doing sth u like and crawls when it's sth u hate.so im trying to push the unhappy stuff away and do stuffs that i want to do.i hope ppl arnd me wld STOP being so pushy.im getting (sorry i have to say this but) fucked up.you know like when youre trying really hard to restrain yourself from throwing your temper at the ppl who have 'done you wrong'.you jst scold them and tell them off for the fear of hurting them.neither can you reject their requests or orders or whatevs.when you keep it too long,it boils in to fury ball.ready to explode any moment.aft being kept for too long,it turns into bitterness. 9:27 PM